Embedded Files
This short story is about the Debt Salesman that was the longest employed of any of them.
The first poster, no one read, because it was put up on pieces over such a large area that reconstruction or intrepretation became impossible. Parts of the magic saturated into the landscape and places became ruled by whole words, letters, the sounds between letters, and of course, the tone. If seen as a simple printed sheet, the first poster would have read:
GO HOME.
YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO READ THIS.
GO HOME.
YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO FIND THIS INTERESTING, GO HOME.
GO HOME.
GOING HOME.
THERE IS NO GOING HOME, IF YOU ARE READING THIS.
You could say: but I am baby at home.
THAT IS OKAY BABY, BUT MAYBE CLOSE THE TAB AND STOP READING.
Gramma could say: I Already Knew That,
Where Is The Story I Was Told You Have Written??
IS THAT YOU GRAMMA? ARE YOU READING MY WEBSITE?? I AM SO EXCITED YOU ARE CHECKING IT OUT! PLEASE SAY HIGH TO GINGI AND BOBO AND SCAMP AND WUGG AND LINGO AND PISTOL B AND SHUDDY FUCHESS AND THE NIGHTMARE WORD AND THE BIG OL BAD TIME YOU HAD IN THE SHUSHUMS YEARS AND EVERYONE ELSE AT THE LABEL!
One could say: Okay I Think I Get It, Let's Go.
You Think You Get It But I Guarantee You,
You Shouldn't Get It.
Skip All This! Let's Get To It, Hobby Horse!
THEN WE BEGIN:
The note was red pen on yellow paper, faded and crossed out, sums and tallys and names and diagrams, all essential, all to be referenced whenever discussing how the 23 dollars that was required for the evenings stay was to be allocated.
And there was a poster wrapped up on the bike, on blue printer paper. It read:
Underneath all the hatch marked indications of relation and debt was written:
FIND THE DEBT SALESMAN
THE DESK ON THE ROOF.
IT WEARS A MASK.
THE SECRETARY CAN HELP.
Hi there Friend, Customer and Soulmate!
Have I Got A Deal For You!!!
I have recently come into possession of some really high quality debt.
Now I know what you're thinking, buy some debt?? It sounds crazy right?? But you would not believe this debt my man, milady, my cat dog dragon toad, my ultimate fighting championship pound pound ding.
Did I say ding? Dub it over in post, I don't have time to do this twice.
What do you mean there's no post? This is going to be text?
If it's going to be text on a website then why am I reading into a microphone?
It's not going to be on a website, this is for a poster?
Oh I see.
Oh well that does make a lot of sense actually. Alright:
Some of the good stuff brother chairman, like star light woven out of tapestry mam queen.
It's going to have to be the case that I let you purchase this debt from me, I can see it in your eye and the marking of your hand, you're the kind of individual who would take this debt and do something really spectacular with it.
Stars shine volcanoes bloom with flowers, god winks, the devil does his sass at the libraries and the banks, nobody gets goodness like this except from a high quality debt like this one, my baby roboby.
Like woah sister mine I am getting such VIBES from this and we've only just started this transaction that absolutely very much under no other circumstances but these could have anything but a resolution like you absorbing every speck of this super galaxurious splayed stanky debt.
This debt, my goodness my friend, I kiss god on the lips for this debt, it has been the boon of all my life and the token of a very good old time no doubt customer, no doubt, but look pal here is the deal, I was made to sell you this debt at an extremely affordable rate, that's all there is too it, as I see it anyway.
What the hell? No! Where's The One Who Was Shouting About Going Home? I'm Going Back To Them, You Debt Obsessed Weirdo"
What, You're Back? Don't Want The Debt? Want To Hear Me Talk About Gramma again? Gramma's Dead Baby, She Grew Up And She Died. And Now You March Yourself Back There And Listen To That Odious Lunatic Yammer About Debt.
FINE!
I'll take it! How much is it?
You Accept The Weird Little Wrangling Thing Wiggles It's Arms, And You Feel The Story Start...
Okay, certainly your first question is what is the debt, yes?
Or what is a Salesman?
I guarantee you friend that you do not need to know the answer, in either case,
but because I am essentially from the same pod as you and our uncles used to be in on that thing back in the 70's,
I will let you know under my wing,
old time pop star,
that you are going to need a lot more information from me than that.
Now I know what you're thinking, buy some debt?? It sounds crazy right?? But you would not believe this debt my man, milady, my cat dog dragon toad, my ultimate fighting championship pound pound ding.
Brother sister through you I find this newfound debt for sale,
that definitely I think you have already
in your heart of hearts secret cupboard of hope an IOU for.
This debt is yours, child of mine, and it has found you. Warrior, Willow and Princess.
It comes with notions, things to weight you down, heard once and never seens, bought and solds, rolled diced, fallen arches, all the hopes and lost ankles you could wish out of a bottle of pure.
It's going to have to be the case that I let you purchase this debt from me, I can see it in your eye and the marking of your hand, you're the kind of individual who would take this debt and do something really spectacular with it.
Okay well you bought the debt, here's the fragment:
The large wrapped crate is extremely heavy, and it's taking quite a lot of core strength from the two figures handling it to keep their shoulders back and squared while it's lifted up with their arms. The movements are jerky and hesitant, but the two get the crate up the stairs on the porch. They set the crate down on the porch, on a potted plant, which fractures immediately. The crate shifts and hits the wall above the front door before either can do anything. It squishes the plant as the tall crate leans over, scraping down in an arc towards the railing. Beskins rushes behind you to elbow aside the porches plants brushy foliage and pull the crate back from the railing. You rush to the end near the wall and try and wrestle it back onto the porch.
After a brief moment of adjustment you have the package propped up between you both, Beskins looks sanguine. (the wall is not too terribly damaged and the broken plants have been quickly quicked off the porch.)
Is The Plant Really Okay? Beskins Isn't Usually Too Attentive To Things Like That, And It Does Look Like Its Swiped Away Quite A Large Chunk Of Plant, Oh Hell.
What you can see of the plants and the wall isn't too terrible, but enough to make you wish it hadn't happened. It's Terrible when stuff like this happens on deliveries.
You could try Spoken Remonstration For Rupture And Repair on Beskins.
But then again it was mainly your fault you hadn't checked for the plant, so maybe a look of attentive remorsefulness is appropriate.
Maybe even a quick peek at Beskin's face to see if they're paying attention to and learning from your entirely appropriate care to the job at hand.
Glance at Beskin's face and consider Spoken Remonstration(For Rupture And Repair).
Absolutely out of the question, Beskins face is a stone cold mask of hate, hate at you, hate at the world, hate at the bird he ate on the car ride over, everything about his fanged leering grimace says hate, in a way that is so informative you'd think it was art, but it's not, just a casual relaxed facial expression of a man who was extremely bad at his extremely important job, caught in an idle glance by a colleague, yourself.
You settle for a brief cough before you press the button to ring the people inside, and you think Beskins will have the idea of your general disapproval from that.
You're of spoke too now my brother in schist .
Scheiss? The god head one with all the atrocities in his name. Jiggus? Jiggus Scheisst.
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse